Zetsu's computer problems
by ArsenicFlavoredSkullkandies
Summary: In the always changing town of Amegakure lives Zetsu, a lonely outcast living with his rich friend Pein and others like him. Pein buys a persocom, a new fad within the town. soon everyone has one, but zetsu. then he gets a discounted one. Zetsux o.c ooc
1. com from the thrift store?

.: Zetsu's computer problems :.

Ren: Hey guys ^^ I had this real kooky idea so I decided to write this story ^^. It's a Chobits and akatsuki cross-over… no characters from Chobits are gonna be used cause then it'd be WAY too many ppl to remember. ENJOY!!!!

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

_"Pe-Pein? What is that?"_ Zetsu looked and his black side retorted.

"**It's a persocom, you twit…" **

"_Persocom? Like a humanoid-robotic type thing?" _

Pein sighed; they always had to go back and forth on everything. Pein had brought his personal persocom, Konan, because he thought that the akatsuki could use the extra helping hand around the base, but after he brought her everyone just gravitated over to her and wished for their own persocom. And, eventually, everyone did get their own… all except for Zetsu who feared that he'd eat his persocom, seeing how real and life-like they look. And this, yes this is about Zetsu and his computer issues…

_____-_-______T-T_______^_^____________^o^______

Zetsu was, as usual, walking home from work smirking because today was payday. This meant he could go window-shopping with a slight possibility that he might buy something. He walked past a shop decorated with bright streamers and ribbons and, of course, persocoms. Ever since Pein had gotten that peroscom, they had been popping up everywhere it seemed. He looked in the windows finally deciding to go inside a store.

"Hello, how may I help you?"

"Uh… do you have any used 'coms?" Zetsu tried to blend his voices together.

"U-used?"

"uhm… yes used."

"Well there is _one_ laptop com in the back that used to belong to some rich-guy, custom made, but he died and this com won't sell… I guess you can have it for half-price… if you really want a com…". Zetsu perked up, custom-made _AND_ half-price perfect! The clerk showed him to the back. There, up high on one shelf, sat a little green-haired persocom. She had small little flowers on each side of her head, connection terminals he figured, and her hair was enough to cover her height twice. It was out and flowing, most-likely from being shut-up for so long. Even though all of the above Zetsu smiled and decided-

"I'll take her…"

__________^w^________________:P_________________

"This? This is a persocom?"

"It's oh so small?"

"Konan…" Pein smiled towards his persocom and she walked over smiling just as wide.

"Yes, sama?"

"Do they make peroscoms this small?" Pein motioned towards the little laptop on the table.

"Yes this is a laptop persocom, but I've never seen a model like this before?"

"**The store-owner said it was custom made…"** Zetsu looked at his little laptop and smiled.

"_Well… we should name her…"_

Zetsu nodded and opened her connection terminals; that's where the on switch was… right? Zetsu looked in the terminal, both terminals, not nary an on-switch anywhere…

"**where the heck is the switch?"**

"It was custom made, right?"

"**Yes." **_"That's what the _owner_ said… she looked nothing like the other laptops anyway…"_

Pein observed the little com the noticed that there was a very small button on her back underneath all of her folds of cloth she called a kimono. Pein pressed the button and went around the table to watch her turn on. She began to shake and then she opened her eyes, which were a dark blue, cerulean it seemed. She looked left and right then glanced at Zetsu. He smiled, _"Hello little com…"_ **"I'm Zetsu/ your new owner."**_ "What would you like to be called little com?" _She looked up at Zetsu and smiled.

"Konnichiwa." Zetsu smiled, now he knew why no one brought her…

"_O-namae wa nan desu ka?"_

"Watashi no namae wa Ren desu."

"_Hajimemashite. Eigo o hanasemasuka?"_

"Hai"

Ren's eyes glowed green for a second then she smiled.

"So Mr. Zetsu… would you like me to forward all your calls?"

"**yeah…"**, great she did speak English and Japanese…

"Phone number required… begin recording…"

"_202-303-7838"_

"processing processing… recording complete! Now create a password!"

"**Uhm… Zetsu-"**

"ERNT!!! WRONG ANSWER! VALID PASSWORDS ARE NOT RELATED TO THE USER IN ANY WAY."

"_how about… sakurambo?"_

"processing…processing… recording complete!"

"**so."** _"What do you do else?"_

"Ren-chan is programmed to dance in standby mode ^-^"

And just like that she started to dance with little maracas in her little hands. He sighed and she continued until she fell into sleep-mode. And that was the end of day one…

__________-_-ZZZZ___________^_^________________


	2. She's not an ordinary com

.: Zetsu's computer problems :.

Chapter 2

Ren: Well… thanks 4 ur patronage… or uhm whatever that word was… er is uhm… yeah so let's move on shalls we.. ?_?

T[]/.\[]T  Itachi-chan________-- 0w0 kisame

"Get up Donna, Tis a brand new day. Get up, get up, it's time to play!!!"

Zetsu awoke to Ren's song.

"_Teme, little com."_

"**What time is it?"**

"It's only 7:00 in the morning…"

"_MY BUS LEAVES AT 7:30!"_

Zetsu quickly undressed, paying absolutely no digression to his poor little com who shrieked

"AHHH! Donna-chan! MY EYES!!!"

"_Oh, sorry little com…"_

"**Yeah we didn't mean for you to be seeing all of this…"**

"_Not like it's much to see…"_

"**Pfft that's on your half! My sides' nice and-"**

"TEMEE!!! Donna-chan PLEASE!!!!!" Poor little Ren sat holding her ears, connection terminals rather, trying to block out the terrible conversation going on around her.

"_once again… sorry little com, er Ren… It's so much easier to call you 'little com'…"_

"Well… You should probably get going Donna-chan… Your bus arrives in a few minutes.". Ren hopped off the table and onto Zetsu's back, from there climbing up onto his shoulder as he grabbed his bag and headed out into the living room.

" So what do you do at school Donna?"

"_Well…"_

"**You learn boring stuff that you won't need later in life."**

"So… why do you go?"

"_Cause your parents make you…"_

"Your parents…"

"**Yeah… people who made you…"**

Zetsu looked down at Ren, her eyes had taken a weird green glow, then returned to normal. She looked up into Zetsu's eyes.

"So who made me… who are my parents?"

"_Uh… I don't really know…"_

"**We didn't meet the guy…" **

"oh…" Was Ren's disappointed reply.

Zetsu looked down at his sad com. Then perked and asked,

"_Teme little com, why so glum,"_ He thought a minute then continued, **"I'm happy when you perk up chum…"**

Ren looked at him blankly.

"Wha-what was that?"

"_I.D.K"_

"**my bff Jill…"**

Zetsu laughed at his joke. He glanced at Ren, her expression hadn't changed, well he thought it was funny at least. Her face went blank then she looked at Zetsu and smiled.

````````After-school```````

" moshi moshi. o genki desu ka!"

" **konbanwa o kagesama de genki desu."**

"ZETSU!! Get her to talk in ENGLISH!!!"

"_Well excuse her…"_

"Tomo Zestu-sama. Let's go to your room…"

Zetsu followed his little com to his own room.

"Why are they so mean to you…"

"_They-they aren't mean to me."_

"**Yes they aren't mean… they're cruel,"**

Zetsu pondered this… his roommates were overly mean and cruel… maybe it was just because he was so used to it. Any way it did fall into place, she was right and he was being treated so unfairly...

"Donna?"

Zetsu looked down and smiled at his little com.

"**I'ts nothing little com…"**

"_Let's just get to sleep, it's late no?"_

Ren smiled then curled up on Zetsu's chest as he lay facing the ceiling. Zestu almost rolled over but then noticed the little bump rising and falling with his own breathing. He smiled and set her on the table as she murmured

'I kappuru da to omoymas.'

"**I think we're good together too little com"**

" _in fact we're perfect…"_

And with that Zetsu drifted onto sleep.

~and such was the beginning and end of the second day~


End file.
